Saying "No" Often Means Saying "Yes" to what Matters Most
"The man who chases two rabbits catches none". - Confucius
Saying "no" to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them. Saying "yes" to too much can leave you stressed, stretched thin and can lead to burnout. Learn to say "no" when you are busy, and it will lift your mood, as well as improve your creativity. Likewise, saying "yes", especially to opportunities that excite you, will equally benefit your creativity. Learning to prioritize your commitments will enable you to work on what you want to do, not on what others think you should be doing.
TEDtalk Spotlight
Rahaf Harfoush is a strategist, digital anthropologist and author. Here is a quick 5-minute video of her explaining how our obsession with productivity can lead to burnout:
Link: https://www.ted.com/talks/rahaf_harfoush_how_burnout_makes_us_less_creative#t-1293
Self-Reflection
- Before saying "yes" to a new task, assess if you have the bandwidth. Is this a short-term project that won't take too long, or a long-term project? Does it supplement another project you're working on? Can a colleague take something off your plate to enable you to say yes?
- Are there ways you can say "no", but still contribute?
- Do you find that you say "yes" and immediately regret it? If so, what could you have done differently?
- How does saying "no" make you feel? Why do you think you feel this way?
Tips for saying "No" without feeling guilty
It's been known that recent graduates, or those that start a new job, feel it's harder to say "no" at work. They overcommit out of fear of not being seen as a "team player". But setting expectations early on in your profession and at work will earn you respect and will help you succeed in the tasks at hand. Here are a few tips to help you:
- Say "no" firmly, but kindly. Practice saying "no" out loud. You will get more comfortable over time. Here a few examples: "I wish I could take this project on, but I don't have the bandwidth", "I won't be able to complete this project given my other responsibilities, but I appreciate you thinking of me", or "In order to give this project the attention it deserves I would need more time, and I don't have it"
- Be straightforward. If you give a wishy-washy answer for rejecting an ask, the person asking may think you are a "maybe" and come and ask you again. It then becomes much harder for you.
- Be candid about the reason you are saying "no". It will make you feel good to lay out the reasons and show others you are respecting the time it takes to fulfill your current projects.
- Be empathetic. Responses like, "I know this isn't what you wanted to hear" or "I know this means there is more on your plate now, but my other work will suffer if I take this on" eases the rejection.
Additional Resources
Podcast: https://accidentalcreative.com/podcasts/ac/podcast-power-saying-no-can-say-yes/
If you ever feel overwhelmed with the work and opportunities in your life, you're not alone. The vast majority of people express that there is simply not enough time and energy to get everything done. However, people are also hesitant to say no to projects and opportunities because they're afraid they'll miss out on something great. The truth is, they're probably missing out on something great because they won't say "no". On this episode, four areas where you need to regularly prune so that something better can grow are discussed.
Blog: https://fs.blog/2014/11/saying-no/
This quarter's SPARK! Memo brought to you by Janette Lawrence with editing help from Michelle Jacobs and Rebecca LeShay.